January 14, 2008

devastated

I can't think of the last time I felt like this..... it's been at least 2, maybe 3 years since I felt the sinking feeling of an impending panic attack. Feels like I had come so far in this time period. How does the saying go.... two steps forward.....

The worst part is that I was ironically supposed to spend the day helping my dad through his surgery. *I* was supposed to be the strong one today. Instead I ended up crying on the phone to my dad while I was telling him that I couldn't get on the plane.

Devastated.
Helpless.
Angry.
Frustrated.

So many questions now.....

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